LGBTQ+ people have no obligation to engage with family members who voted for Donald Trump, according to one psychiatrist. Yale University child psychiatrist Dr. Amanda Calhoun spoke with MSNBC host Joy Reid on Friday about what will inevitably be a fraught holiday season for many people.
Donald Trump and MAGA’s vicious anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric has left queer folks – especially trans people – terrified for what the incoming administration will bring. Many say that a vote for Trump is an act of violence against the marginalized communities he rails against, and for some, that violence has been committed by members of their own families.
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One activist cautioned that anyone abandoning trans folks “will wear that decision like an albatross around their neck.”
Reid asked Calhoun what women, LGBTQ+ people, and other groups should be thinking about as we approach the holiday season: “Do you recommend, just from a psychological standpoint, being around them?”
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“There is a push, I think just a societal norm that if somebody is your family that they are entitled to your time,” said Calhoun, “and I think the answer is absolutely not.”
“If you are going through a situation where you have family members, where you have close friends who you know have voted in ways that are against you, against your livelihood, it’s completely fine to not be around those people and to tell them why, to say, ‘I have a problem with the way that you voted because it went against my very livelihood, and I’m not going to be around you this holiday, I need to take some space for me.'”
Calhoun said her message applies to adults as well as the parents of vulnerable children. “I don’t think you should force children, I don’t think you should force adults to be around people just because they’re your family.”
“If you feel like you need to establish boundaries with people, whether they’re your family or not, I think you should very much be entitled to do so, and I think it may be essential for your mental health.”
She concluded, “It may be essential for your mental health.”
@msnbc In a conversation with @Joy Ann Reid on @The ReidOut with Joy Reid, Dr. Amanda Calhoun, chief resident of the Yale psychiatry program, discusses strategies for navigating relationships with family members who hold opposing political views or who voted in ways contrary to your own interests. #politics #election #family #legislation #congress #news #Donaldtrump #kamalaharris
♬ original sound – MSNBC
Even before Trump won, LGBTQ+ mental health was suffering as a result of the barrage of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation being proposed and passed in state legislatures.
A study published in September found that anti-transgender laws have a direct, causal relationship with youth suicide attempts, with attempted suicide rates increasing by as much as 72% following the passage of such laws. Another from the same month found that exposure to anti-LGBTQ+ media increases suicidal ideation among young LGBTQ+ adults, suggesting that recent public debates over LGBTQ+ rights—and transgender rights in particular—may be harming young people’s mental well-being.
In October, the Urvashi Vaid National LGBTQ+ Women’s Community Survey found that more than one in five LGBTQ+ women have attempted suicide, 66% reported seeking treatment for trauma, and nearly half live with anxiety (44%) or depression (51%).
And in the aftermath of Donald Trump’s win last week, The Trevor Project saw a massive increase in calls, texts and chats. The suicide prevention organization for LGBTQ+ youth saw a nearly 700% rise in communications compared to weeks prior, and election-related concerns among young people contacting the nonprofit skyrocketed by nearly 5,200% compared to averages leading up to election day.
Editor’s note: If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. The Trans Lifeline (1-877-565-8860) is staffed by trans people and will not contact law enforcement. The Trevor Project provides a safe, judgement-free place to talk for youth via chat, text (678-678), or phone (1-866-488-7386). Help is available at all three resources in English and Spanish.
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