Five years ago, most people hadn’t heard of single gay dad José Rolón unless they needed a wedding planner in New York or happened to follow him on social media at @nycgaydad, where Rolón posted occasionally and used his account to meet other gay fathers in his Brooklyn Heights neighborhood.

That all changed with the pandemic, when Rolón’s family-style videos fed a worldwide audience starved for wholesome, relatable, and “silly” content. In other words, some good news for a change.

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In the process, Rolón, 48, revealed a phenomenon familiar to diverse New Yorkers but perhaps hidden in plain sight in other parts of the world: the virtuous single gay dad.

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From his home office overlooking Brooklyn Bridge Park, Rolón spoke with LGBTQ Nation about his three kids (Avery, Lilah, and London), his partner of two years (Thomas), and the husband he lost just months after starting their family.

LGBTQ Nation: Single dads have held a unique place in American popular culture for a while. They were big in the 1960s as audiences sought out alternatives to the strict definition of a nuclear family. Shows like The Courtship of Eddie’s Father and Family Affair were popular. Why do you think single gay dads are having a moment in the culture right now?

José Rolón: Oh, gosh. Well, in the big scheme of things, we haven’t been able to really have children before. But with marriage equality and surrogacy and people much more open to having gay men adopt, we’re now at another moment.

When I moved to New York in 1999, I remember seeing a couple of dads at marches, and there was a kid on the shoulders, and I remember thinking how that was really interesting but definitely not in the realm of possibility for me. But because of the legalities and where we are in our culture, I just think that we’re at the forefront of a movement.

Me stepping on a Lego piece is no different from a straight dad stepping on a Lego piece. It still f*cking hurts. (laughing). We’re tired just like everybody else. We try to get our kids out the door and all that stuff. But I think visibility is really important right now, too, given our current climate.

Because sometimes I do get, “Why can’t you just be dad? Why do you have to be gay dad, or @nycgaydad?” And that’s always the goal, just to be dad. But now with Trump getting back into office, I think holding on to that name is more important than ever.