Family building for LGBTQ+ parents comes in many forms and includes many big decisions, from lesbians seeking out the best sperm donor source to gay men choosing a suitable surrogate to carry their child.
To help navigate those choices and more, several organizations — some large and others homegrown — provide invaluable information and resources. Here’s a list of groups dedicated to making family building a reality.
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Men Having Babies
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This international nonprofit started as a peer support network for biological gay fathers and fathers-to-be through the NYC LGBT Center, offering monthly workshops and an annual seminar. Over time, it teamed up with LGBT family associations to develop similar programs in Chicago, San Francisco, LA, Miami, Dallas, Atlanta, Tel Aviv, Taipei, Berlin, and Brussels.
In addition to seminars and workshops offered online and in-person, Men Having Babies runs several programs to promote its educational, advocacy and affordability mission, including the Gay Parenting Financial Assistance Fund, which provides grants, discounts and free services to gay men who require assistance in their quest for parenthood; the Surrogacy Advisor directory, which provides reviews and ratings of surrogacy agencies and clinics; and a community forum on Facebook for gay surrogacy dads, surrogates, and egg donors blogging about their surrogacy and parenting experience.
The group is particularly focused on promoting ethical surrogacy practices that minimize the risks and maximize potential benefits to both surrogates and parents.
Family Equality
This group advocates for legal and lived equality for LGBTQ+ families and those who wish to form them. It has a broad array of resources to advance that mission through its Path2Parenthood program.
Family Equality provides helpful glossaries of terms for prospective parents researching adoption or building a biological family, while the group’s attorneys, working with in-state partner organizations, have come up with State LGBTQ Family Law Guides that break down family law for LGBTQ+ parents state by state. All can be found in their Resource Library.
They also provide an extensive list of LGBTQ+ Family Building grants available for prospective parents.
PregnantTogether
This virtual community was founded by Marea Goodman, a queer midwife and parent, and builds on her book, Baby Making for Everybody—Fertility and Family Building for LGBTQ+ and Solo Parents.
In addition to a fascinating midwife journal — offering eyewitness accounts of the miracle (and trauma) of birth — her site includes a list of available workshops and services for every stage of pregnancy, from fertility checks and sperm donor searches to conception and newborn care.
Gay Moms Club
Gay Moms Club describes itself as “the first-of-its-kind lifestyle community and marketplace for LGBTQIA+ moms and allies,” with a mission to connect LGBTQ+ moms and promote brands that support LGBTQ+ communities and families.
Membership includes a community website with a chat room and discussion board that connects lesbian moms by topic groups or location. You can also browse a full directory of members and filter by shared interests, location, family, and experiences. Members can also be matched up for one-on-one meetups with fellow members who share their interests.
Pop Luck Club
Gay dads in Southern California started this website to support their fellow LGBTQ+ fathers who were “building families through fostering, adoption, co-parenting and surrogacy.”
“We do this through mutual support, community collaboration, and public understanding,” the founders write. “Through peer support and community involvement, we provide our children and the greater community with positive images of gay parenting.”
Monthly meetings online and in-person provide gay dads and prospective parents with support, resources and regular panel discussions on topics including “Surrogacy, Fostering & Adoption”; “Legal Issues for Gay Dads”; “Finances: How to Plan for the Future”; and “Girl Stuff 101: Raising our daughters.”
Trans Hub
The Australian transgender support network TransHub provides a comprehensive guide for trans individuals looking to start a biological family – from getting pregnant to breast or chestfeeding – and provides guidance around the unique circumstances trans pregnant people face when starting a family.
“Research to date has shown that having been on testosterone in the past does not affect the chances of a healthy pregnancy or birth,” the site explains in a section breaking down the risks associated with hormone therapy. “A 2013 study found that there was no ‘significant differences in pregnancy between those who did and didn’t use testosterone. Some participants did report hypertension, preterm labour, placental interruption, and anemia, but these numbers were consistent with those of cisgender women.’ This has been backed up by a 2019 cohort study which wrote that ‘outcomes can be excellent even if testosterone therapy has already been initiated.”
For trans parents already expecting, adopting, and/or parenting, Postpartum Support International leads a Queer & Trans Parent Support Group with queer and trans peer facilitators.
“You are not alone,” the leaders write, “and we welcome you to our group space.”
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