Last night, I helped my six-year-old daughters brush their teeth. Nothing major, just the usual bedtime chaos of unicorn towels, bubble overload, and one of them trying to shampoo the other’s ear. Then we curled up in bed, read a story, and they fell asleep in my arms.

It’s a moment any parent would recognize. Sweet. Ordinary. Safe.

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GWK Academy is the only comprehensive, queer-led resource center created to educate, guide, and support LGBTQ+ people as they explore becoming parents.

Unless you’re me – then it’s a criminal act.

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I’m a father through surrogacy. I’m also gay and married. And while I live in Canada, I’m an Italian citizen. Under Italy’s newly enforced law, I could face up to two years in prison simply for how I brought my daughters into the world, even though surrogacy was legal where they were born, and I followed every law at the time.

That’s right. In 2024, Italy made it a criminal offense for its citizens to pursue surrogacy – anywhere in the world. The law applies regardless of whether the act was lawful in the country where it occurred. And while it’s not technically retroactive, it has created a terrifying grey zone for families like mine. The message is clear: your family was a mistake.

People like me aren’t just being blocked from growing our families, we’re being made to feel criminal for the ones we already have.

And if you think this can’t happen in the U.S., think again.

Lawmakers across the country are already targeting LGBTQ+ rights, IVF access, and reproductive freedom, and laws have been passed to restrict discussions of LGBTQ+ families in schools. It’s all part of a broader campaign: redefine who counts as a “real” family – and who doesn’t.

This isn’t about protecting children. It’s about controlling whose love gets to be legal.

Surrogacy is often misunderstood. It’s easy to reduce it to a political buzzword or to paint it as some luxurious shortcut. But the truth is more complex, and more human. For me, it was the only way I could have children. My daughters weren’t bought or manufactured. They were born through love, intention, sacrifice, and a whole lot of paperwork. Every step of the process was legal, ethical, and incredibly emotional.

Now, under Italian law, I’m a criminal for becoming their father.

My daughters don’t know yet that their family is seen as controversial, that their existence is being debated in courtrooms and parliaments, that their dads, who love them, protect them, and make them gluten-free pasta al forno on Tuesdays, are being told they never should’ve become parents at all.
Right now, they just know I’m “Papa” and my husband is “Dad.” That’s the whole world to them. And I intend to keep it that way.

I want to protect their innocence. But I also need to protect their future.

Because here’s the truth: What’s happening in Italy is not an isolated incident. It’s a warning. A test balloon for far-right movements around the world. And the more we stay silent, the more ground they gain.

If you think this doesn’t affect you because your family looks different, or you’re not LGBTQ+, or you didn’t need IVF, consider this: Once a government begins to decide which families are acceptable, there’s no telling where it stops.

We’re standing at a global crossroads. Will we continue expanding the definition of family, or will we let fear, religion, and outdated norms shrink it down until only a few are left standing?

To lawmakers: Criminalizing parenthood doesn’t protect kids; it endangers them.

To families: Now is not the time to be quiet. Share your story. Show your joy. Make it impossible for anyone to pretend we don’t exist.

Because we do. We’re raising kids. We’re brushing teeth. We’re reading bedtime stories.
And we’re not going anywhere.

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