This week in the U.K., gay member of Parliament Josh Newbury spoke in the House of Commons during the International Men’s Day debate. To highlight and challenge the stigma victims of sexual assault face – including male victims – he bravely revealed his story of being raped ten years previously on a night out.

“International Men’s Day should be an opportunity to smash through stigma,” Newbury said. “One that I believe still persists amongst men is being the victim of sexual harassment or assault. Breaking the silence can mean those of us in privileged positions telling our stories. So here’s mine.”

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Newbury explained that he was on a night out in an unfamiliar city ten years ago and had intended to drink only in moderation to ensure he could safely get back to the hotel he was sharing with his friends. However, he unexpectedly blacked out and had no memory of the night, and subsequent messages from the man he shared a room with made it clear that sexual activities had taken place that he could not have been in a position to consent to.

he said that the other man texted him for days.

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“What followed in the days after was constant text messages from this man, initially just asking if I was OK, but then repeatedly asking what I remembered and commenting that I was a ‘great shag.'”

“Now that made me freeze, because I had no recollection of getting back to the hotel, let alone anything else, and he’d repeatedly told me how out of it I’d been, so how could I have ever consented?”

“It took me a few weeks to piece together my memories, the blanks, the text messages, this man’s insistent tone. Obviously, I cut myself off from contact but it took me a long time to admit, even to myself, that I was a victim of rape.”

Newbury said that he never reported it because of a lack of physical evidence and that he still feels guilt about that.

“I found myself processing all of this with thoughts like, ‘I count myself lucky that I was unconscious when it happened’’ But I want to say clearly today, that no victim should ever feel that they have to put themselves in a hierarchy or feel any shame.”

“It is the people who do this to another person who should feel shame, and I hope that we can foster an atmosphere where men have the courage to speak out about this, and seek justice, even if it is a hard road.”