People in non-monogamous relationships express levels of satisfaction similar to those in monogamous relationships, according to a new study published in The Journal of Sex Research. However, researchers also say that non-monogamous relationships still face greater social stigma and discrimination than monogamous relationships.

The study looked at 35 studies from the U.S. and Europe, which involved 24,489 people in both types of relationships. The people shared how they felt about their relationships and their sex lives in general. Researchers found that the satisfaction levels remained about the same in both kinds of relationships, even when they involved heterosexual and LGBTQ+ individuals and even when they involved different types of non-monogamy, like open relationships (physical intimacy with others) or polyamory (having more than one committed romantic/emotional partner).

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“Monogamous relationships are often assumed to offer greater satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, passion, and trust than non-monogamous ones,” said the study’s lead author, Joel Anderson, according to The Independent. “This widespread belief – what we term as the ‘monogamy-superiority myth’ – is often reinforced by stereotypes and media narratives.”

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Anderson noted that people in non-monogamous relationships “often face stigma, discrimination, and barriers to accessing supportive healthcare and legal recognition.” Other studies back up his assertions.

One study published in the December 2022 edition of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that people in consensually non-monogamous romantic and physically intimate relationships regularly experienced other people expressing discomfort, disapproval, or devaluation of their non-monogamous relationships that sometimes resulted in aggressive behaviors or a loss of material or emotional support. These reactions caused psychological distress in non-monogamous people, the study found.

Another study published in May 2023 found that monogamous relationships carry a “halo” of moral superiority as a relationship structure, whereas non-monogamous ones are widely seen as “perverse and fundamentally amoral,” “corrupt or flawed,” “untrustworthy,” or even “unhygienic.”

People in non-monogamous relationships experienced erasure from their peers and in the media, the study said, leading them to often closet themselves or compelling them to do educational and emotional work to challenge the idea that monogamy is inherently superior and to promote understanding and acceptance of diverse relationship structures.

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In addition to facing societal bias, non-monogamists also face bias from mental health professionals who see monogamy as the “normal” or “healthiest” relationship style, the study said. The study compared this bias to similar biases against LGBTQ+ couples, biases which were worsened by a lack of representation in mainstream media of all sorts.

Also, non-monogamists reported having to personally unlearn their own mono-normative bias and surround themselves with supportive peers and allies to overcome social stigma.

“The strongest motivator for perseverance was the steadfast conviction that the advantages of CNM [consensual nonmonogamy] outweighed the challenges,” the study said.

A 2017 study found that approximately 4 to 5% of North Americans currently engage in consensually non-monogamous relationships, with 21.9% reporting being in one at some point, and 12% citing some form of CNM as their relationship ideal.

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