During his first campaign for the White House that began in 2015, Donald Trump promised the American people that he was committed to bringing only the “best and brightest” into his administration to serve the interests of We the People.
Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work out as he wished. Among his virtual rogues’ gallery of cabinet officials, several resigned in disgrace, while others were referred to the Department of Justice on criminal charges of corruption or misconduct.
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These included Secretary of Interior Ryan Zinke, Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao, Secretary of Labor Alexander Acosta, Secretary of Veterans Affairs Robert Wilkie, and Secretary of Energy Rick Perry.
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With the Department of Justice firmly under Trump’s thumb, however, no indictments were issued to these officials.
So here we are again, waiting with bated breath for the full range of Trump’s nominees for his second term. If the past is prelude, then we already have a clear understanding that while Trump again has promised the “best and brightest” to fill his second regime, he has already served up his appointed delicacies on a silver platter for the eating frenzy of the press and political pundits.
Yum yum!
Looking at a representative morsel of nominees, there is Rep. Mike Waltz of Florida for National Security Advisor. This is the same Mike Waltz who garnered Trump’s favor by trying to overturn the results of the 2020 election and by calling for Dulles Airport outside of Washington, DC to be renamed “Donald John Trump International Airport.”
Then there is Tulsi Gabbard for Director of National Intelligence, who has reported ties to Syria in downplaying its government’s use of chemical weapons and has stated that Putin’s invasion of Ukraine was due to “legitimate security concerns” by the Russian government.
South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem has been nominated for Secretary of Homeland Security, though she has virtually no experience in the field. A warning has already been sent out nationwide to all dogs and goats to move to higher ground if they don’t want Noem to shoot them in the head.
Regarding nominee Lee Zeldin for Director of the Environmental Protection Agency, Trump promised on Truth Social: “He will ensure fair and swift deregulatory decisions that will be enacted in a way to unleash the power of American businesses, while at the same time maintaining the highest environmental standards, including the cleanest air and water on the planet.”
Wow, that sounds awesome: deregulating environmental standards to maintain the highest environmental standards. That is like the old saying, “Throwing out the baby with the bathwater.” But with Zeldin’s magic, we come out with a really clean baby plus water to grow thousands of atmospheric carbon-eating trees. What could go wrong?
And we will see Tom Homan returning with his ever-popular child separation policy in his capacity of “Border Czar,” a position that does not require Senate confirmation. He will be aided by Steven Miller, former Trump advisor and nominee for Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy.
Miller follows the dictates of Machiavelli, who famously said, “It is better to be feared than to be loved, if one cannot be both.” Miller was a longtime apprentice of Attila the Hun, who taught him well the art of the scorched Earth policy.
And we can’t forget Trump’s insightful judgment in nominating former Representative from Florida Matt Gaetz as the nation’s top Attorney General to lead the Department of Justice. Gaetz is well aware of the process of ethical and criminal investigations since he has been the target of some disturbing misconduct allegations. I suppose experience always helps.
Trump’s first choice for DA was Roy Cohn, but he had a prior commitment underground.
So, for the appointments yet to be announced by the incoming autocrat, I have some recommendations for him to consider.
For Chief Press Secretary, I nominate Joseph Goebbels, who has experience as Adolf Hitler’s Reich Minister of Propaganda. I understand that he is dead, but since Trump is seen as the Second Coming by his acolytes, I’m sure the incoming 47th President can rush along the resurrection process.
I understand that Trump has already placed Elon Musk (along with Vivek Ramaswamy) to lead the Department of Government Efficiency. However, I believe that Musk would be better served as the Secretary of Labor since he places so much care and sensitivity in treating and paying his employees fairly and equitably while respecting their right to form unions and bargain in good faith.
Besides, why would Trump need two people to run an Agency on Government Efficiency? That doesn’t sound very efficient to me.
For the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency, the perfect fit in a Trump administration is most certainly Hibatullah Akhundzada, the current Supreme Leader of the Taliban. I’m certain he will be able to keep our nation completely safe alongside Tulsi Gabbard as Director of National Intelligence and Kristi Noem as Secretary of Homeland Security.
And let us not forget the all-important Secretary of Energy. For this job, I nominate Murray Auchincloss, who is the current CEO of Standard Oil. The company’s founder and CEO when it was established in 1870, John D. Rockefeller, would be very proud indeed. Hey, we could return to a time of “the Gilded Age” when the wealth and income gap became ever more profound, leading to the unfathomable inequities that exist today.
Oh goodie! I read that the great Betsy DeVos, former Trump Secretary of Education, has volunteered to return to that position if Trump does not axe the entire department. Maybe this time, she will accomplish her goal of thoroughly destroying public education by privatizing it and by providing vouchers paid through taxpayer funds to go to private religious schools.
It is too bad that Trump cannot cover the role of Commander in Chief, Secretary of Veterans Affairs, and top generals of all the military branches after demonstrating his utter commitment to, confidence in, and respect for the military personnel of the United States. But alas, his bone spurs prevented him from serving his country during the Vietnam era, while all of his fellow “suckers and losers” had either been taken captive or died in combat.
There are so many additional agencies that will need new directors, as Trump intends to purge hundreds of thousands of government and military personnel who have sworn allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America rather than bend a knee and kiss the ring of this would-be dictator.
We all are looking forward to good times ahead.
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