A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly attacked her wife with cheesy nachos.

Alison Swan, a nurse in St. Lucie, was taken into custody after police were sent to the couple’s home for a welfare check on the victim.

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Midway through the altercation, the victim, 40, had managed to phone a friend, who heard much of the 3 a.m. confrontation and alerted authorities.

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Swan’s wife told police she was in the kitchen making cheesy nachos before she was attacked. Swan, 39, was in the living room playing video games when she told the victim she shouldn’t be eating so late and made a comment about her weight.

An argument ensued, and Swan walked over to her spouse, “grabbed a handful of the cheesy nachos and shoved them down the back” of the victim’s leggings, a police report on the incident reads.

When the victim, who is also a registered nurse, left the room to change her clothes, Swan allegedly slammed her head into a bedroom hall wall, dragged her to the floor, and “shoved her fingers into either side of her mouth and hooked them like a fish. Allyson then continued to batter her by grabbing her head and slamming it into the floor multiple times.”

The victim told police that throughout the confrontation, Swan asserted her authority over her, claiming she was in charge and her wife “was not behaving.”

Nacho cheese was discovered in the victim’s leggings and found smeared on a wall. The victim had a knot on her forehead and a scratch on her right arm.

Swan’s account was different.

When police responded to the couple’s home early Saturday morning, Swan denied that a physical altercation had occurred and claimed that her wife had been in a “drunken rage,” forcing Swan to barricade herself in their bedroom. Her wife had thrown the plate of nachos, Swan said, and “rolled around and covered herself in nacho cheese.”

Cops found the ceramic plate that the nachos were prepared on and reported it was “completely intact.”

Swan was arrested for domestic battery, a misdemeanor, and freed from the county jail Sunday morning after posting a $250 bond.

Swan was ordered to have no contact with the victim and stay away from her wife’s car and place of employment. She was granted access to the couple’s home, accompanied by police, only to retrieve her belongings. 

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