A big, gay box truck has gone missing.

Height: about 10’6″. Weight: 14,000 lbs, loaded.

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The 2009 Isuzu custom-built performance truck with a stage, sound system, and pink eyelashes painted over its headlights was the mobile home of the Bearded Ladies Cabaret group, a queer arts organization in Philadelphia.

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The art-filled “Beardmobile” has been a regular at the Philly Pride parade, as well as at protests and events around the City of Brotherly Love.

Members of the group discovered their mustachioed stage-on-wheels missing last week from the parking lot of the Allens Lane Art Center, where it was stored. A motion-sensor camera was disabled before the ” Beardmobile” was waxed from the scene on April 18, the group’s artistic founder, John Jarboe, told Axios.

“My hope is we do find her,” Jarboe said. “It’s got a whole lot of love and a lot of history.”

The popular drag troupe is now circulating “missing” posters for the souped-up Isuzu.

“Have you seen this Beardmobile?” the flyer asks, as if there were any other.

 “MISSING: Big gay cabaret-on-wheels (read: box truck in drag).”

“Extremely friendly! Responds to praise and cash tips.”

“Do not attempt to drive! (Seriously, we are not sure about the brake situation at the moment.)”

The group is offering a reward of “10,000 lbs of glitter” for the return of their “beloved Beardmobile.”

Alternatively, the group says they can “turn you GAY*! (*If not already. Painless & fun!)”

The truck symbolized the local LGBTQ+ community’s “loud and proud” resistance to intolerance and hate, Jarboe said.

He demurred when asked if the OG Beardmobile is replaceable.

“I’m still in the grieving process,” he said.

Got a tip? Contact the group via @BeardedLadiesCabaret.

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